I was reading in Proverbs today, something I try to do everyday–you know there is a chapter of Proverbs for every day of the month–and I pray for wisdom. In chapter 18, verse 18 it says “Casting the lot settles disputes, and keeps strong opponents apart.”

Some observations:

1. It’s not about who is right or who is wrong, winning or losing, its about deciding. There may be a clear right or wrong. There may be many shades of gray. Or it may just be a mess that we can’t really untangle. Whichever the case, the “issue” has everybody frozen. All forward motion has ceased, and when the herd isn’t moving forward the individuals in it tend to stand around and pick on each other. The objective is to move forward, and the rendering of a decision—right, wrong, offensive to all or none—at least gets it over and allows everyone to move on. I’ve won cases and I’ve lost them. The important thing is they are in my past.
2. Casting the lot doesn’t really require much skill. You just have to roll the dice, or flip the coin. In ancient thought there was the idea that God controlled how the lot fell, and certainly I think He could, and sometimes does, but I also think that sometimes the lot just falls the way it falls. It is not ours to control how the lot falls, it’s ours to cast it—to make the decision—so that everyone can get unstuck and move forward.

Personally, I get stuck sometimes. I want to win. Particularly when I am sure I am right. And, I try not to get “at issue” with someone unless I think its a big deal and I am sure I am right. Sometimes I even want to punish someone, because frankly, I think they deserve punishment and I can even create a very valid Biblical argument that well justifies our meting out punishment to an erring brother.

My guess is that many people get sucked into this quagmire of right and wrong and punishment. And that’s rarely the point.

We’d all be better off if we could let go of winning and losing, of right and wrong, and focus instead on making the decision that allows everyone to move forward. Forward motion holds the reward. Whether they like it or not, Wisdom moves people forward.

Cast the lot. Settle the dispute. Make the decision. Say “Earl, you pay me to give you advice. Should I give you advice that will make you angry, or only advice that you want to hear?” If he says he doesn’t want advice that will anger him, that’s forward motion. You have now discovered someone who should not be your client. YOU can move on! But if Earl says he’s willing to hear, then tell him it’s time for him to move forward and not waste time and energy on what happened back there. “Settle the dispute” in his MIND. That may be the only place it exists. The opposing party may not even know there is an issue.

Ultimately, the best thing you can do for a client is provide them leadership that gets them unstuck and moving forward!