What do the members of your team say about you when you aren’t in the room? That is a telling indicator of your personal effectiveness and your impact as a leader. It’s a scary question for any of us to have to answer, and I write about it with some trepidation. Based on their awesome performance of late, I believe that when I am not in the room my team talks about how to reach our team goals. They know it’s not about me, or them, or even us, but (here comes Core Value #1) it’s about all the people who are depending on us.

This question came to mind earlier today after a meeting attended by a Big Cheese and three Lesser Cheeses one of who answered to the Big Cheese, and two of who are impacted by the Big Cheese. The conversation was polite and ostensibly about important “cheese” stuff while the Big Cheese was in the room. But then the Big Cheese excused himself to rush off to some other sandwich (or wherever Big Cheese goes), that’s when the conversation really got interesting, or……..truthful.

The Lesser Cheese who answers to the Big Cheese is unhappy with the Big Cheese’s lack of vision and direction for their business unit, but afraid to take the risk of being honest with the Big Cheese for fear of losing his own place in the sandwich pecking order. The other two Lesser Cheeses are terribly frustrated by the Big Cheese. They really care about the Big Cheese and want to help the Big Cheese in creation of the ultimate sandwich, but—though pretending to be seeking advice—the Big Cheese isn’t truly open to input from the Lesser Cheeses (maybe they are a threat?); at least not those who might disagree or challenge the authority of the Big Cheese. So they all pretend.

They pretend they are making progress. They pretend to be happy working together. They pretend their company is winning the game they are involved in. They pretend that everything is OK, when in fact, the Cheese is getting moldy. Everybody knows. Everybody smells the cheese going bad. Everybody cares. Everybody wants to fix it including the Big Cheese who is simply too fearful, in way over his head, lacking in confidence, and lacking in sufficient humility to ask others for their help and, God forbid, to actually implement their ideas and give them credit for contributing to the over all health and vitality of the company.

If we were really being honest, what would the Lesser Cheeses who report to you say about you if you weren’t in the room?

If this line of analysis troubles you, I want to suggest some things you can do to change the atmosphere of your company, enhance your leadership, and accelerate your difference making.

#1. Tell your people that they matter to you and that you need them; that you are a team working together. And mean it. (Insincere words are cheap, but very expensive for any leader caught using them.)

#2. Create an atmosphere where it is safe to tell the truth. Honestly, if a Lesser Cheese told you the truth and it stung you, would they be safe? Or, would you strike back at them, if not overtly, perhaps in some passive-aggressive way? Until it is safe to speak the truth—even an unpleasant truth—you’ll never have an organization that can develop and retain high performers.

#3. Create an atmosphere where everyone can contribute meaningfully. Just today one of the guys on my team, Glyn, contributed a couple of great strategic ideas to help out Shawn even though they work in totally different departments. They know we all win together, or we all lose together; and if we lose, the real losers are those who are depending on us.

#4. Help the Lesser Cheeses to know exactly where they stand and whether or not they have standing to speak into the situations your team faces. If they don’t have standing, tell them exactly what it’ll take for them to get to the level where they can contribute meaningfully. But don’t continue to lead them on by pretending that you want their input when your really don’t.

I’ll bet you have many good ideas to ad to this list, so I invite you to post a reply to this article and help build the list. You see, I need you to help me write a better article. You and me, working together, are a formidable team. My cheese, your cheese, all blended together can make a great toasted cheese sandwich. And……I believe together we can make a difference.