What if you are the problem?

My buddy Chris Eller told me about an orphanage he helps to sponsor in his home town of Asheville, North Carolina. The director of this orphanage has given his life to parent  children who don’t have anyone to love and care for them. He parents them, provides food, shelter, clothing, and coaches them through their homework. He’s Dad to a large number of children.

One boy at the orphanage learned a powerful lesson. His parents had both been killed in a car wreck and the boy had no one, so he came to the orphanage which happened to be located across the street from the high school. The boy was an angry young man, and the director would send him to the gym to run when he displayed inappropriate anger. One day he came home from school angry. He was sent to the gym to run. He came back from his run and swore at the director. He was sent to the gym to run. Exhausted, he came back to the director who asked “Why are you so angry.” The boy replied, “Because I made the basketball team over there at the school, and I don’t have basketball shoes. I’ll be damned if…..” and the director sent him back to the gym to run.

Chastened the boy returned to the director physically exhausted, and with his head down—obviously humbled, and the director reached under his desk and handed the boy a new pair of basketball shoes. The teenager sobbed. It turns out the director knew along along that the boy had made the basketball team, and had gotten the shoes as a gift for the young man. He was just waiting on the boy to get into a receiving posture so he could give him the gift.

How often is it that way with us? God has something He wants to do for us personally, or for the team on which we work, or the church in which we serve, or the community in which we live. But before He can do THAT THING for all those people, we have to be in the posture to receive. Don’t misunderstand, I don’t me US WE, I mean YOU! God can’t do what He wants to do for you, and through you to bless others, until you are in the right posture to receive from Him. Meanwhile everybody else is waiting on the blessing that is to come until such a time as YOU get into position, or learn your lesson, or whatever.

One of the core values on the team I lead is Learning & Growing. Wouldn’t it be something if God were holding back some blessing for our team until some team member learned whatever lesson He’s trying to teach them? Wow! That would really bring focus onto Core Value #1: It’s about the people depending on us. I must learn my lessons quickly and grow to full stature so that I’m a useful channel through which God can bless the rest of my team.

Think about what your teammates, church, family members, co-workers, small-group have been praying that God will do. Is there any chance that you are blocking God’s ability to deliver the gift He’s got wrapped for the others who are depending on you? Are you the problem?

Despite what I wrote yesterday about the folly of pursuing too many “why” questions, the truth is that we can create a positive answer to “why.” That’s what Jesus did as John records the story in chapter 9. The disciples brought a blind man to Jesus and said “Why was he born blind? Did he sin, or was it his parents who sinned?” Jesus replied, “Neither. And you are missing the point. It is so that the works of God might be displayed in him.”

When you and I face difficult and troubling situations, every one of them can be turned into a majestic work that glorifies God, if we choose to let it do so. I’m not saying your difficulty doesn’t hurt. It does! I’m not saying there’s not pain. There is! But I am saying that even the most perplexing and awful situations are fertile ground for our growth and God’s glory.

If you aren’t already on a growth track, and don’t have a bit of spiritual wisdom under your belt those words may make no sense to you. But take it from those of us who have a little more time in the saddle. Everything you experience is an opportunity for positive growth and development to make you a better you while increasing and enhancing God’s reputation among those around you. Therefore, your responsibility is to one-step-at-a-time, put one foot in front of the other, live faithfully, be thankful in all things, be diligent, be worshipful, be generous and gracious despite how you feel internally, and display the character of Jesus living in you.

I’ll never grasp the complicated “why” imbedded in most situations, but that’s actually thinking at a low level. I need to raise my thinking to a higher level and realize with confidence that I by having an open and teachable spirit and a heart full of gratitude—even difficult situations—can result in my being better among men, and His being bigger among men. And that’s more than enough.

“You think too much.” Or, “You’re over-thinking it.”

I’m told that often enough to believe it’s likely true, and one of my most guilty thinking pursuits is chasing the question “Why?” When a friend was into responsibility way over his pay grade, instead of acknowledging that and asking for help he continued to cover-up his underperformance until he’d cost his company hundreds of thousands of dollars, hurting people who cared about him and ultimately damaging his own family and career. Why? A young 29 year old mother died in a car accident recently. Why? A beautiful young teacher full of vibrancy and life is struggling with a mysterious heart problem. Why? A 16-year-old star athlete hits the winning shot at the buzzer securing a perfect, no-loss season for his team and as he is hoisted onto the shoulders of his celebrating teammates his heart stops. Why? In one 30 day span a church elder’s wife has a stroke, then the wife’s mother has a stroke, then the wife is diagnosed with a hole in her heart, then their daughter had brain surgery and developed meningitis, then the wife is discovered to actually have a tumor in her heart—-all in 30 days. Why?

Why? Why? Why? Inquiring minds want to know. We want to understand.

In the midst of the latest round of asking “why” I laid The Message translation of Proverbs 3 on my lap. “Don’t try to figure out everything on your own” leapt of the page. I don’t mean it was highlighted, or it subtly snuck into my awareness. I mean that—as the Old-Timer’s would say, it was “quickened” into my heart, “Barry, don’t try to figure out everything. Just let go of it. Let it be.” The reason? Because I am to “Trust God from the bottom of your heart.” God’s in control, and He is definitely operating above my level of understanding, so I need to trust him and not waste my mental and emotional energy continuing to ask a question the answer to which I couldn’t understand if He gave it to me.

But why?

Who knows? There are as many possible answers as there are people. Maybe its as simple as the fact there is evil in the world. Maybe God is doing something in the life of that person, or in the life of someone I’m unaware of that is somehow related to the situation. The point is, “why” is God’s business, not mine. if I keep asking the why question it will just sprain my brain and drive me further and further away from Abundant Living. On the other hand, if I learn to let “why” hang there, and can persist in trusting the God whose character I have learned to be so worthy of my trust, then Abundant Living is within my grasp.

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Coming up next: The real answer to “Why?”

There is a philosophy that’s virtually universal and taught in many religions called the Golden Rule. It simply states: Do to others what you’d have others do to you.

My mentor, Zig Ziglar  has often taught “You can have anything you want if you’ll just help everybody else get what they want.” That’s simply a restatement of the Golden Rule, and it’s right on. Leadership begins and ends in helping other people achieve what they can’t have unless you help them obtain it. God gave you unique keys to the locks in people’s lives when He especially gifted and positioned you to make a unique difference in the world. Choosing to use those gifts, abilities, resources, & vision to make a difference for others is leadership—Servant Leadership.

Who is Depending on You?

Core Value #1 in our company states: It’s about the people depending on us. Those people are the focus of your leadership. Who are they? Family. Co-workers. Employer. Neighbors. Fellow church members.

The first person depending on you, is you. No one else is responsible for your achievement but you. So the first place you exert leadership is in making a difference for yourself. Only when you become everything that God uniquely created you to be, can you then be a leader who helps to make a difference for other people.

You were uniquely created for a purpose. Finding and fulfilling that purpose is the greatest exercise of leadership.

Well-meaning, but misinformed Christians often parrot a line about the importance of being a servant leader, but they have no idea what it means. Often it gets reduced to “serve ME” by “agreeing with ME and doing what I want you to do.” But servant leadership is actually about doing the greatest good for the most people. It has nothing to do with being mild mannered, politically correct, socially acceptable, or making people feel good. It has everything to do with moving them forward in the way that will help them. Help them what? Whatever. Help them with a problem. Help them meet a need. Help them become more or better.

I’m not an athlete or a sports fan, but I love sport for its analogies. In our company we often speak of “moving the ball” or “moving down the field toward the goal line.” That’s what leaders do; they help others move toward the goal line. They call plays. They run them. They redeploy resources and reassign people as needed. They do what is necessary to help their team score. That is how they best and most effectively serve others.

When Jesus talked about serving, He taught that greatness came from serving ALL. That’s interesting. I’ve heard a lot of preachers and teachers emphasize “serving” but I’ve only heard one ever tie together the notion of “greatness” and “all.”  Wow! That’s big. If you want to be everything you can potentially be and really make your mark on the world—really make a difference—you need to find a way to help the most people possible; as Jesus put it—all!

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Coming up Next: YOU are essential to THEIR success.