Success is natural. The river of life leads us there. But there are dams on that river that prevent us from arriving at that point called success.  My life is about helping people identify those dams—we’ll call them blockages—which prevent the river of their life from delivering them into that great ocean downstream which we’ll call “Success.”

What are those blockages? They could be anything: How you grew up; Some little, silly something that a teacher said; Erroneous teachings from unknowledgeable leaders in your religion; The Great Depression’s influence on your parents or grandparents. Today, blockages are being created in the lives of young people who are growing up with a parent gone to war. Blockages can come from anywhere. And we’ve ALL got them.

I recall one man who, recently divorced, was asked why he ever married the girl in the first place. He said “I thought she was pretty. As a child my parents had always teased me about growing up to marry the “ugly” little girls in class; the dirty haired ones with snot bubbles hanging out their nose.  So when I got the chance to catch a beauty, I did.”

Turns out she was beautiful on the outside, but broken on the inside. The result was a divorce devastating in its emotional, personal and professional impact even a decade later.

Wow! That was a messy blockage, producing bad thinking, and leading to a personal  train wreck. How much better it would have been if that blockage could have been identified and removed earlier allowing the flow of the river to lead to a successful marriage.

We often feel guilty about our blockages, so much so that we may be reluctant to admit them, and therein lies the first lesson: There’s no shame in having a blockage. It’s not your fault. It’s not a weakness. It’s just an “is.” It’s a factor that affects your success. The first key to blowing up that dam on the River of Success is recognizing that it exists, admitting it, and moving beyond the false & improper guilt and shame to look for a solution. We want to dynamite that dam—blow it up—so the natural flow of the water carries you downstream to the Ocean of Success.

Exactly what is that blockage? Is it a circumstance? Or, is it a mental paradigm; a way of thinking that needs to be changed? It could be either, but more often than not its simply a way of thinking or a “false belief” that needs to be eliminated. Sometimes those false beliefs may be so deeply rooted that it’s hard to get to the tap root eliminate them. Our strongly-held, false beliefs may even be so comfortable we don’t want to let them go. There can be a sense of security, even in false belief!

Removing the dams on the River of Success requires willingness on your part to #1. Look into yourself and discover the blockage. #2. Delve into your thinking to ask yourself why you think that way. #3. Be willing to challenge your own belief to be sure it is correct or to change your thinking if it needs to be changed. When you remove those blockages, you’ll be amazed at how quickly the current of the River of Success will deliver you to higher and higher levels of achievement and personal satisfaction.

“There are four quarters in a game, and four quarters in a year. At the end of the year did you walk away having won, or did you just play the game?” Nola Peterson crystalized that thought yesterday at the end of a brief Year End Sprint training session in which I focused our top leadership on “running through the bag” so the year could be completed instead of  just lazily “trotting” the bases until the year was over. It’s an important thought. Are you winning, or just playing.

I think most people engage their work for the sport of it instead of playing to win. It’s a game to get up everyday, suit up, show up on the playing field, drink Columbian Gatorade with friendly teammates, step to the workstation to run a play, drink some more finely ground Columbian Gatorade, have half-time, then go back to the playing field and run a few more plays all the while waiting for the clock to run out. I call this “Playing between the 40’s.”

In football if your team manages to keep the game between the two forty yard lines, nobody wins. The ball moves a few feet one direction or another while players repeatedly grunt, sweat, and pile into a heap. Not much exciting happens, and no points are scored. They don’t give points away for “fine execution between the 40’s.” You are credited with points when you break across the 40 and drive into the opposing team’s end zone.  Trophies don’t go to teams that consistently “deep into the 42 yard line.” Trophies go to teams that break across the goal line and occupy the enemy’s territory.

Notice the use of the word “break.” If you are going to succeed you’ve got to have a break out, away from the rest of the pack. You’ve got to break away from old habits and break-up with negative people who are holding you back.

Why don’t more people experience breakouts? I think its because breaking out involves risk. If I stay huddled with my team between the 40’s, nobody is going to criticize me for showboating and my opponents aren’t going to come crashing into me, making me eat dirt because I broke out. There is camaraderie in the huddle and safety in the group. There is no thrill of victory. There are no awards for accomplishment. There is no forward momentum for greater achievement. But it’s safe. If you’ll just agree to not go beyond the 40, the other team will take it easy on you when they tackle you and make it look like you are really playing the game. If you won’t embarrass them and make them run “all the way” down to the endzone. They won’t face-plant you. But that’s no way to live, knowing neither the sweet taste of victory nor the satisfaction of giving your best amidst defeat.

If you are going to be successful, you’ve got to break out away from the group. You’ve got to take the risk that when you rise above the crowd somebody will take a shot at you. You’ve got to understand that people you thought were your friends will suddenly turn on you because your hard-work, effort, and success make them feel bad about their own life between the 40’s. But life and work are not hobbies played for mere entertainment, we’re here to win. When we win big we advance the ball for our family, our team, and all the people depending on us. And, we give ourselves the respect we deserve. We are worthy of being winners!

As we make the final turn in 2009 and head toward the starting gate for 2010 let’s evaluate our game. Let’s be willing to do the hard work so that in 2010 we can spend more time dancing in the end zone of life.

Core Value #5 in our company is Winning. The theme Bible passage for that core value comes from Jeremiah 29:11 where God said to his people “I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.” I taught this core value in our team training last week, waxing eloquently about why winning was important, about why God’s design for us to win, and about attitudes and attributes of winners. My team bought it hook, line & sinker.

Unbeknownst to me, the day before friends of mine had lost their son-in-law to a car accident. He died leaving a young wife, and two primary school aged children. Today the mother-in-law posted to Facebook that the last two days (which included the funeral) had been the hardest of her life.

Plans to prosper you………not to harm………hope…….a future.

So where is the prosperity, the hope, the future in this? Where’s the God who wants us to win that I taught about last week? I’ve been struggling with that thought. My guess is that its hard to offer praise to God in a household that has experienced such loss, I get that. How can we maintain our faith and reconcile the death of this Daddy with a God who says he wants to prosper us, give us a hope and a future. This is hard math. I just can’t make it add up.

I remember Job had everything taken from him, and he said “Yet if God slays me, I will still trust him.” Nice poetry. But none of us want to have to do it.

Understanding why this young man died is beyond my grasp. But I do remember hearing Babbie Mason sing once at our church in Columbia that “God is too wise to be mistaken. God is too good to be unkind. So when you don’t understand, when you don’t see His plan, when you can’t trace His hand, trust His heart.” His heart is pointed toward us, toward that young widow, her children and even the young man that was taken from them.

I believe that.

We who trust Him do so because we know Him. We know His character. We know His voice. We know His deeds. We know what He says about His desire and intent for us. That’s enough to allow us to continue trusting Him when nothing makes sense. We’ve read the end of the story. And it allows us to say with Job “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.”

An entrepreneur’s stock in trade is confidence. When he has no confidence, he can’t function because entrepreneurism is fraught with risk—emotional and financial danger, risk to employees, risk to investors, risk to the family. More than one entrepreneur has bit the dust financially and lost everything they own because their business fell apart. So remaining confident in the face of danger is important.

The team that surrounds the entrepreneur exists to “guard his flank” by being sure the enterprise functions properly and successfully. The Flank Guards surround the entrepreneur like the Secret Service surrounds the President. As dangers pop up, the Flank Guards knock them down and keep the entrepreneur protected—more specifically keep his confidence high—so he can continue to creatively fleshing out the vision for the enterprise he is leading.

I’ve found that as my confidence increases my emotions de-celerate. They slow down. I’m not as jumpy—hasty—edgy—nasty. I’m nicer to people when I am confident. I am more patient and more flexible? I am the me I like.

Why is confidence emotionally decelerating? Because an entrepreneur is always guarding his enterprise. He’s always on edge, protecting the baby from danger. Sometimes it seems like there are mercenaries inside and outside the organization who are intent on screwing it up—damaging the baby; Shutting off the revenue; Increasing the expenses;  Draining the bank account; But when the entrepreneur is confident that his flanks are well-guarded and the dangers are protected against, he begins to relax; to not push so hard. His fear that “they” are going to “screw it up” begins to diminish. That’s why confidence is so important.

If you are an entrepreneur you should ask yourself “What am I afraid of? Where am I lacking confidence?” Answering those questions will tell you where you need to focus your attention.

If you work for an entrepreneur you should ask “What can I do to increase my boss’ confidence? Am I executing my responsibilities so he feels like his flanks are guarded?”

A successful bigger future begins with increasing your confidence today.