While visiting with my attorney recently I mentioned testifying in a trial in which the attorney had been very nervous; inappropriately so, it seemed to me. He said “Yes, but you are more confident than most people.”

He’s right. I am.

In reflecting on that conversation, I’ve been wandering around in my brain asking myself questions like: from where does confidence come? Why are some people more confident than others? What is confidence? Does confidence matter? How can you develop more confidence?

Are you a confident person? Why or why not? How do you feel around people who are strongly confident?

What is Confidence?

I think it is simply believing. Believing in yourself. Believing in others. Believing in God.

Confidence is assurance. Assurance is being certain. So perhaps confidence is being certain.

Core Value #3 in our company is Confidence in your Competence. That’s simply being certain that you have the ability to execute your responsibilities effectively. It’s the shooter stepping up to the free throw line with no time on the clock certain that he can make the basket. It’s the surgeon boldly cutting into the body because she is certain of where to cut. It’s the athlete who when his team is behind and it is late in the game says “Give me the ball. I’ll carry it over the goal line.” It’s the soprano who in the climax of the piece, right after that pregnant pause, has the courage to nail the high note at full volume, certain that she could.

Confidence is knowing that you know; knowing that you can. It is the ability to trust yourself to deliver the result for you. It is the inner assurance of a favorable outcome.

Does Confidence Matter?

Confidence is the key ingredient to success. A technically precise pianist who never misses a note can melt down in a performance failure if lacking confidence. A salesman who doesn’t believe will never bring his solution to bear with a prospect if he is lacking in certainty that his solution is the absolute best one for the prospect.

I want my surgeon to be confident in his knowledge of anatomy, and my lawyer to be confident not just in their knowledge of the law, but in their instinctive ability to successfully present my case before the court with bold assertion. I want my preacher to be confident in the message he brings, the authority it rests on, the power of God to do the impossible and the fondness of God for a guy like me who doesn’t deserve it.

So yes, I’d say confidence matters. It matters a lot! You cannot be successful if you are not confident.

Sources of Confidence

So where do you get confidence? Your parents? Your education? Can you buy it through an online store?

I know one lady whose confidence comes from her genes. She was heard to recently say “My parents ran this town when they were alive, and now I’m going to.” Oh, she’s got confidence, but as you might guess it’s misplaced. She’s not getting traction with genetic confidence.

Back in the dark ages—when I went to college—it was true that if you got a medical or law degree that you had the ticket to financial success; you could be confident that your future was economically and socially secure. However, I’ve had enough brainless doctors as clients and seen enough hungry lawyers to know that entrusting your confidence to those professional degrees would definitely be misplacing your certainty.

Some people get their confidence from a bottle. We call that “liquid courage.” But sources indicate that wears off quickly and definitely leaves you worse for the wear. In fact, many people have done stupid things fortified with this kind of confidence. I’ve got a 45 year old buddy who is practically crippled from that kind of confidence. It seems in college he got his confidence up and decided to tackle on of those snorkle-type, street corner mailboxes.

Ouch!

Starting in junior high and extending throughout life, many people get their confidence from what other people think of them. They dress, talk, and conduct themselves in ways that they believe will cause others to think or speak highly of them. The join clubs, seek out “friends” (in quotes because they aren’t really), and drive certain vehicles because they believe being part of that group, accepted by that person, or looking successful behind the wheel of a particular sports car will give them status. In my experience those folks sometimes look good, and usually have cool stuff, but they are often shallow, hollow, empty people starved for relationships and hungry for authenticity.

Don’t get me wrong. Dressing well, educating yourself, and putting your best foot forward can certainly contribute to success. But ultimately confidence is internal. It doesn’t come from any of the external sources pursued by the vast majority of people.
he Ultimate Source of Confidence

Easter Sunday seems like the right time to share with you what I believe is the ultimate source of confidence.

The Bible teaches that Jesus died for man’s sin and that if I were the only man who ever lived, or the only man who ever sinned, Jesus would have died in my place; for me alone. In so doing, God “priced” me. He said I was worth the life of His most precious son. He put a value on me and it is a high one.

Enormous, really.

So, in light of the value that God has placed on me, suddenly, what you think of me doesn’t matter so much. Whether I pass all the “cool” tests and “awesome” factors doesn’t really matter too much. Driving an old beater, a Ford F150, or a (OK, I’m not a car guy, so insert the hottest, coolest car of your choice here) suddenly becomes irrelevant.

You see my friend, I am confident because God loves me. He doesn’t love me because I am good. He doesn’t love me because I write big checks to charity. He doesn’t love me because I DO anything. No, He loves me because His nature is to love.

No longer feeling the need to search for or prove my worth, I am confident because my worth was established on the cross. In dying for me Jesus not only paid for my sins, but He established my value. I am worth the life of the greatest man who ever lived. He gave me dignity. He gave me a sense of assurance that I can face any challenge knowing He’ll be right there with me. He promised me Heaven when I die, His closest companionship while I walk the earth, and His power to do everything He asks of me.

I can boldly go where others fear. I can boldly say what others won’t (you know…..wouldn’t want them to think badly of me). I can speak truth. I can take risks. I can cry in public without fearing that I’ll appear weak. I can put my arms around my buddies and hug them tight and kiss their cheeks without risking my manhood.

I AM confident. I can do ALL THINGS. I can do all things THROUGH CHRIST who strengthens me.

And you can, too. The power is available to everyone. Maybe you ought to check and see if your cord is plugged into the outlet.

When Jesus died on the cross He put a price on you as well. In fact, you and I are both valued exactly the same. We’re worth the price of God’s most precious and only Son.

How’s your confidence?

Put your hope and faith in the right place. The only right measure of your value is the cross.

The world needs confident men and women to make a difference. Be one!

When you do an honest assessment of the company you lead, or the department, or the social organization, or even if you just lead one other person, if you did an honest assessment of yourself and your charge would you say that you are high performers, or just average?

Why? If you are average why aren’t you better? And if you are a high-performer, please respond to this article and tell us what makes you such.

We’re all products of our environment, and undoubtedly my desire for high performance is rooted in my growing up. I believe part of it began in the little church I attended as a child. I remember when I was only five or six visiting the church nursery where the smaller children stayed during the service—if they came at all—and discovering every toy was broken; and later learning that we took toys to the nursery after they were broken and no longer useful to us at home. Even at six I knew that wasn’t right: it wasn’t high-performance.

There were no break-out people in my little community. Excellence wasn’t a value. “Good enough” was. We didn’t produce academics, intellectuals, or athletes. In fact, we probably weren’t #1 in anything other than the number of graduates receiving government welfare checks. Yet somewhere, somehow, I developed a craving for more and a desire to excel. Thankfully, I’ve been able to do that most of my life.

For reasons unknown to me I attended the large University several hours away when few of my classmates went to college and those who did mostly attended a small school of a few hundred very close to home. That didn’t make me better, but certainly different. I was suddenly swimming in a pond with a larger number of better equipped competitors. And I thrived

In my 20’s I founded a church and can still hear the haunting ring of the man who told me “You’ll never succeed. You are too young. Those people in that area have too much money. They’ll never listen to you. You can’t do this.” In a way he was right. It skinned me up pretty badly. But we started at zero and ended up with several hundred adherents a few short years later. Today, some 20 years hence about 2000 people consider that their church home.

In the fast moving stock broker world I was considered a “fast starter” who won every award and incentive contest trip I was eligible for climbing to be the #14 producer out of some 3500 in my company. In the insurance industry I wasn’t just part of the Million Dollar Round Table, but was Top of Table, which I recognize means little to anyone who isn’t in the industry, but it means that 99.9% of people in the industry were behind me. I was a high performer.

The team I lead now started out badly in debt and closing the company doors was a real possibility, but today we are a paragon of success among our peers, at the pinnacle of accomplishment.

I’ve just always wanted to win. I don’t know why. But I’ve always wanted to be with high performers and I think that is a valuable trait.

Why High Performance Matters

High performance matters because you and I have been entrusted with gifts, not just natural abilities and skills we’ve developed, but true gifts integral to our purpose on earth. It’s our obligation to use those gifts to their maximum in honor of the One who gave them to us, and for the benefit of all the people who are depending on us. Remember Core Value #1: It’s about the people depending on us!

You and I aren’t accountable for what we couldn’t do. For example, no one is ever going to criticize me for not playing in the NBA. But we are accountable for what we could have done with what was given to us. We must do our best. We must achieve the maximum possible. God wants a return on what He’s given to us. That famous Physician Luke wrote in the New Testament book that bears his name “To whom much is given, much is required.” You and I have a great debt we owe for the oxygen we breath. Life isn’t a right, it’s a responsibility. Carry it out well.

Performance at a high level honors God and helps people. Those two things are at the very core of everything we ought to be about.

How to Recognize a High Performer

There are any number of ways, some of which are more obvious than others. Beyond the normal metrics of “paychecks and points scored” I’d suggest to you that high performers carry some of these characteristics……

#1. HP’s show up on time, ready to contribute. HP’s don’t come sliding in just as the shift begins. HP’s don’t show up in a meeting having not done their homework. HP’s are prepared and ready to contribute to whatever they are involved in.

#2. HP’s are risk takers. They understand that every great achievement in human civilization came at risk to the achiever. Swimming in deep water requires getting out of the boat. When the settlers came to the new world, beached their ships and set them on fire, they were committing to perform and win. When the signers of our Declaration of Independence put their signature on the document, they sealed their fate. There was only one way: Forward! They were committed to winning.

#3. HP’s are insatiably curious. They ask lots of questions about lots of things. Many of those things aren’t even “on topic” but that’s OK. The high performer knows that the more rocks you turn over, the more crawdads you’ll find. They like to learn about things that ostensibly have nothing to do with them. They like to take things apart to see how they work. They want to understand the inner-workings of businesses. They love exploring new concepts and ideas. Thus, they read, attend lectures, listen to speakers, read some more, study, discuss with others, did I mention they read?. And in all that poking around and learning they develop thinking skills and see applications of principles that other people miss.

#4. HP’s have high expectations of others. They ask hard questions of others. They are focused on winning and when someone on their team isn’t carrying their weight, it’ll usually be pointed out by a high-performer. HP’s expect everyone to play their position. Using an athletic metaphor, they expect everyone to be a “defensive stopper.” They don’t tolerate whining and excuses. To HP’s it’s all about performance, as it should be.

#5. HP’s are accountable and hold other people accountable. They know that at any moment someone may call on them to defend themselves in relation to their performance, so they typically make sure their performance is defensible. They are also quick to question others in the same way.

#6. HP’s use their capability to the maximum for the right purpose. HP’s recognize that there is no glory in being at the top of the ladder leaning against the wrong wall. They’d rather be at the bottom of the right ladder and climbing, than at the top of the wrong ladder. Therefore, HP’s are quick to recognize when a situation, a placement, and teammate, or an approach isn’t working and they take prompt action (typically thought to be too aggressive by lower performers) to remedy it.

#7. HP’s have good attitudes. They know the old Proverb “A merry heart doethgood like a medicine” and they strive to be a merry-maker. One of my personal affirmations that I say to myself every day is: I am enthusiastic and enjoy turning up the confidence and energy thermostat in every room I enter.

#8. HP’s are learners who want to grow. They know a lot already (did I mention they read?) but they also know there’s lots they don’t know. Last weekend I went to the bookstore and bought eight new books. I’ve probably bought 20 books in the first quarter of this year and I read everyone of them. They cover many genres of literature. I find a nugget in every one that makes me better.

#9. HP’s are believers. HP’s believe in what is possible. They are optimists. Their glass if half full. They’ve won the game before they even come to the field. My buddy Jay Vigneaux says that “Believing in yourself tells God that you believe in Him. Because He already believes in you.”

How to Develop a High-Performance Culture

#1. Be a high performer yourself. You’ll never have a high performance culture if you slack as a leader. Your people won’t read more than you do. They won’t question more than you do. In fact, you should expect that the best of them will max out at about 80% of your performance level, so figure out where you need them to be and then exceed that by at least 25%.

#2. Ask people for their help. People love to be on a winning team. They want to live a life worthy. They are moved by vision. Help them see what you hope to produce, ask them to help make it happen and then show them the benefits they’ll receive when you become a high producing team.

#3. Cast vision, great vision. The greatest things I’ve ever done in my career were empowered by tremendous vision, and the laggard seasons in my career were times when I didn’t have a vision myself and thus my team didn’t either. YOU MUST HAVE VISION! If you aren’t in pursuit of a dream worth your all, you are pursuing the wrong thing. Big dreams are galvanizing. They draw big dreamers, and big players. Someone once said (and I’ve loved it for decades) “Make no little plans for they have not the power to stir men’s souls.”

#4. Expect a High Performance. Once you’ve cast the vision and asked people for their help, if they said “yes” then you should be able to expect their activities and commitments to reflect the commitment to that vision. Begin evaluating them against How To Recognize a High Performer standards. If they don’t meet those standards, don’t be discouraged at first. Maybe they just don’t understand. You get what you train. So begin training the behaviors that are required to produce high performance. If you’ve gotten their commitment and trained to it, you then have a right to expect high performance.

#5. Measure it. Ah, this is where it will get sticky……comparison. Only that which gets measured will improve. If you aren’t measuring your performance and that of your team, you won’t see improvement. If team members resist being measured, then they don’t understand the value of knowing how they are doing; instead they prefer the vague blackness of assuming everything is alright.  That’s a sure sign of a mediocre performer.

Recently I had an experience with a person who refuses to be accountable to measurement (he’s not on my team. I wouldn’t allow that.) Today I had interaction with a several people who are influenced and affected by this person. They complained about his lack of impact and that he wasn’t helping them to achieve the team goal. Of course he’s not. The people he’s working for aren’t expecting high performance from him and aren’t measuring him to be sure he produces it. There’s no accountability. Where there is no accountability there will be no performance.

We recently hired a salesman who really wanted the job. He pursued it. He convinced me. I hired him. He attended our first team meeting where we went around the room and were accountable to each other for our commitments to perform. He promptly resigned. He didn’t want to be accountable.

#6. Don’t let low performers drag you down. You become like who you hang out with. If you hang out with laggards, dullards, or people who are at best average, they will influence you to be like them. It’s a sociological fact. Likewise if you hang out with sharp people who are better than you, who are performing at higher levels, you’ll begin to enhance your performance. In a perfect world I’d like to be the lowest performer in every room I was entered. That would mean that everyone there was outperforming me and that I could learn from every person there. Wow! What opportunity!

#7. Focus on what is right instead of what is wrong. Life isn’t perfect. Your performance is unlikely to be flawless every time. Instead of focusing on what you didn’t do well and need to improve, why not focus on what you did right and try to figure out how you can get just a little bit more of that.

I lead a group of friends in a weekly study and discussion. We met earlier tonight. One of the ladies in the group talked about how she’d changed her mind and decided she was going to approach her days positively. On Monday morning she got out of bed in a great frame of mind and all was well for 20 minutes, until she rounded the corner from her bedroom to her kitchen and saw all the mess. She was overwhelmed by the mess she had to come home to later that day after work and it derailed the positive day to which she’d committed.

My encouragement to her was rather than counting all as loss and surrendering to the negative, be grateful for the positive 20 minutes she had and figure out how to get just a little bit more of that. For every minute that she could incrementally increase the positive she was stealing from the negative. If she can train herself to do that over a period of time she’ll learn to turn her whole day around.

Rewarding High Performance

Honestly, I don’t know that I know how to do this beyond the normal ideas of more money, bonuses, etc. I do occasionally give a team member a gift. I try often to compliment them for doing a good job. Most importantly, I tell them I love them.

That’s right. “I love you” are words we use among our team. They aren’t cheesy. It’s not false and stilted—uncomfortable. It’s true. I do love them, and I believe they love me. We share that. We care about each other (sometimes enough to kick each other in the butt), and we are committed to each other. You see, we are the people who are depending on each other, that’s why Core Value #1 means so much to us.

I believe great leaders are lovers. They love the people they lead, the people know it, and the people love the leader.

Finally

It’s a lot easier to be average than to be a high performer. Nobody expects much of you if you commit to being average. When you commit to being a high performer the costs go way up. It’ll take more of your time. More energy. Greater commitment to do the right things rather than doing things rightly.

Your peers may try to drag you down because your higher performance suddenly makes them look bad. Sometimes being a high performer is lonely. You’ll be surrounded by more “friends” back in the average pack. But are they really friends? Or, are they acquaintances?

You’ve only go one life. You can either live it lost in the average, or you can commit yourself to making the most of the gifts and opportunities you have. The choice is all yours.

The world needs you. People are depending on you. Now, go make a difference!

Praise and protest broke out in Iowa this week as the Supreme Court in that state ruled to legalize homosexual marriage; proof that a law degree and an appointment to the Supreme Court does not an intellectual giant make.

For all the places we disagree, God Bless the four Catholic Bishops of Iowa who issued a wise statement saying in part:

This decision rejects the wisdom of thousands of years of human history. It implements a novel understanding of marriage, which will grievously harm families and children.

This unwarranted social engineering attacks the good that marriage offers to society, especially the good of children, and weakens the critical relationship between marriage and parenting.

Let’s set one thing straight. I am not anti-homosexual. I am anti-homosexual behavior & practice. I understand that people have “issues” in their life that are confusing and troublesome, and propensities that if unrestrained lead to unacceptable behaviors. But those issues and propensities are no license to sin. If they were, we’d probably all have murdered someone long ago, we men of presently understood good character would spread our genes with wanton abandon, and drowning your sorrows in your chemical of choice would be accepted as “the right way” to deal with your issue.

It is my understanding of scripture (the Bible, which I hold to be authoritative in the matters of morality to which it speaks—and if you don’t that might explain why you could disagree with me on this issue. So what is your source of authority? Really? Does it extend outside of yourself? Is it decided by popular vote? Where does the buck stop? Is that your final answer? Or, is it still subject to change?) that homosexual behavior is sinful, as are stealing, gluttony, drunkenness, divisive behavior, fits of anger, and gossip to name a few. There is no ranking of better or worse among them. These are sins; a manifestation of the chaos which ensues when man declares himself independent of God.

Unfortunately, people of otherwise good sense have grown weak on this issue; first weak in their minds, and then in their resolve. In a misdirected spirit of cooperation and in effort to get along with others we’ve too quickly chosen to embrace the mantra “live and let live.” As a result, we who know better find ourselves sleepily sliding into an attitude of “Ah, if they wanna get married, let ‘em. Who cares?” And that my friend, is a problem. If you are guilty of it you need to repent (that means “turn around”) and stand up for what is simply right.

It stands to reason that for something to be “endorsed by a society” it must be acceptable if everyone in a society did the thing. With regard to this issue, if everyone practiced homosexuality the species would die out. To a simple mind like mine, that’s proof enough that it’s not part of God’s design or intent for those He created, any more than it was his intent that the Shakers abstain from sexual relations. That particular approach hasn’t served them very well (though some of us inherited fine furniture when the Shakers died out thanks to their warped notion.)

The old jokes about God making Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve aside, it is simply a fact that marriage between a man and a woman is woven into the fabric of society throughout human history. Husbands and wives having children, raising families, working, producing in the economy, seeking a better life, taking care of their neighbor——-that’s the foundation of our culture in America. Beyond our shores, a husband and a wife is the very building block of human culture.

Homosexuals don’t like it when we ask “What’s next? Marrying your pet? It stands to reason since I know you love him.” The pro-homosexuality movement believes this to be talking down to them. It isn’t. It isn’t even about them. It’s about the slippery slope humans find themselves on when they abandon logic, common sense, and the moral underpinnings of human history.

If in our enlightenment we decide that this suddenly isn’t a moral wrong, then what keeps us in the future from changing other bedrock principles of human dignity from overtly wrong, to suddenly right? What keeps us from deciding that euthanizing the infirm isn’t wrong? We’ve all seen situations where death was welcome. Why not hasten it? And if euthanasia is good for us, what about people whose medical care is deemed “too expensive” or those who are no longer productive in our society. Wouldn’t it be alright to exterminate them as well? Now that I think about it, there are people of a different political and philosophical persuasion than me. I don’t think they are good for America. Let’s exterminate them.

Where does it stop? Why does it stop? If there are no moral absolutes, then there are no moral absolutes. If there are absolutes, from where do they come? It must be from some source other than yourself, otherwise my absolute can trump your absolute and ultimately it comes down to the biggest bully wins.

Think about this: I don’t like my neighbor. Why can’t I kill him? He’s no different than a rabid dog to me. Shoot him!

Oh, but wait. I can’t do that. Why not? It’s wrong! What makes it wrong? Why is it wrong? I just want to live in peace and I can’t as long as he’s my neighbor, so get him out of the way. Don’t I have a right to the pursuit of happiness?

You see, you do believe there is right and wrong. You wouldn’t let me shoot my neighbor. A sense of right and wrong is internal to all humans, sharpened by teaching and enlightenment. In fact, enlightenment should provide greater clarity regarding morality, rather than plunging us into murky darkness which envelopes those for whom there are no absolutes.

What’s required in times like these, and really in all times, is for good men and women of sound character and intellect to stand and speak truth. With regard to this issue the truth is homosexual desire and behavior is not in the natural order of things. The truth is homosexual activity is sin. The truth is there are absolutes. The truth is no other sexual behavior in human history is formally codified as acceptable. We do it, but we don’t have a law that says we can do it. In fact, laws are about taking rights away, not giving them. We don’t pass laws to give rights. In his comparatively primitive day Thomas Jefferson knew rights were “unalienable.”

I encourage you when this topic comes up around the water cooler, at the mailbox, or over the lunch table to lovingly and non-rabidly, with great gentleness, speak the simple truth. Be a leader who is strong for that which is good and right. It is much easier to just not say anything, or to acquiesce to the militant demands of those who want us to agree with them. It’s easier to tickle their ears in agreement than to risk their scorn in disagreement. Yet I am convinced that only weak men and women always agree. People of strength and leadership are unafraid to engage disagreement because they recognize that such discourse is necessary for the working out, dusting off, and mining from the earth of human thought those concepts and ideas that are best and right for themselves and all the people they represent and to whom they’ll leave the world.

In human relations there are areas that are gray and murky where we may be forced to come to “best effort” conclusions that may in fact miss the mark. But let us not be confused on something as simple and foundational as the understanding that marriage is between one man and one woman. You and I must be men and women of gracious leadership who stand strong in the face of criticism and insist that there are indeed some things that are wrong and some things that are right. Though flawed ourselves, we are able to discern the difference. Will we have the courage to speak the truth?

Go make a difference!