WARNING: What I have written here may offend you. If it does, I hope you’ll stop and think through the logic of it, and give pause to consider whether it might be truth. I’ll trust and honor the decision you make once you’ve thought it through.

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This Makes Sense: When you come to the light hanging over the roadway, if it is green, then go on. But if it is red, then stop.

And, this Makes Sense: Thirty years ago when I was a student at the University of Missouri and a fruity little company named Apple had just released their first MacIntosh I had a class where they taught us to write code. I don’t remember much from that class, but I do remember that they taught “If-Then” statements so that as the computer “thought” when it came to a fork in the road “if” a certain thing were true, then the computer did a certain thing, and “if” a certain thing were false then the computer did something else.

These “If-Then” statements about computers and stoplights make perfectly logical sense to us. We abide by them and don’t argue with them. They are socially acceptable. But now, I’m going to introduce you to an “If-But” statement that most people object to.

Similar, but Socially Unacceptable:  In a book written nearly 3000 years ago by a man believed to have been raised in aristocracy and ultimately executed because his socially unacceptable call to higher living offended people, a leader wrote to people saying that they had forgotten God. They were still acting religious but their religious offerings and behaviors were “detestable” because they weren’t offered from pure hearts. Their religion had become a “transactional business relationship” instead of a “love affair of devotion.” (How does that work in your marriage?) And they were far from God.

Isaiah challenged Israel’s behavior and then wrote this interesting, logical “If-But” statement: “If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the best from the land (sounds good doesn’t it); but if you resist and rebel, you will be devoured by the sword (ouch, that’s bad).” (Isaiah 1:19-20)

I’m pretty sure I could gather a random group of people and get them to buy in on the “If-Then” logic of stop lights and computer programming, but when presented with the “If-But” logic of living under God, they’d rebel with much protestation saying things like “How can an educated and sophisticated man like you believe such a fairy tale” or “There is no such thing as absolute truth” or other such goofy, uninformed and intellectually weak arguments. Humans object to being ruled by anyone or anything—even themselves—and the notion of bowing before God the Creator offends their self-righteousness, and their self-grandeur.

The simple truth is you and I can’t be righteous in and of ourselves. Our righteousness can only be bought through the blood of Jesus shed on the cross. And grand? Well, yes we are—grand creations living out the grandeur Heaven values when we are living God’s way, doing God’s work, empowered by God’s Holy Spirit. Alternatively, we’re a heap of dung.

Not a very socially acceptable message, was it? Are you offended yet? Don’t be. Come instead and join me in bowing before a loving creator who wants more for us than we do for ourselves. Luke, one of the men who traveled with Jesus recorded this quote from Jesus “What Father, if his son asks for a fish will give him a snake? Of if he asks for an egg will he give him a scorpion? How much more will your Father in Heaven give……to those who ask Him.” (Luke 11:11-13)

God is good. He has good in mind for you. He’s got simple rules, and most of them are logical. This one certainly is.

All the blessing that Heaven can afford (stop and think about how much Heaven can afford) is waiting for you. If………

I’m no Dear Abby, but I’m playing one on the blog today. A reader recently sent me an email saying: “I quit going to the church that my husband feels called to go to. It’s a VERY small church & I’ve felt judged by several people there because of struggles I’ve been having in my spiritual life. The sermons also often make me angry…perhaps because they touch on things about God & Christianity that frustrate me. Anyway, me staying home has made our home WAY more peaceful on Sunday afternoons. My husband thinks I should submit to his authority (like a good Christian wife) & go to church anyway. What do you think?”

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Dear Reader,

Your question reminds me of that old entrapment trick question “Have you quite beating your wife yet?” Either answer indicts you, and so I suspect that any answer I give to your question could subject me to similar danger. So, here goes…..

You reference a struggle in your marriage and frustration with God and Christianity. Don’t feel special. We all have marital issues, and either things about God and faith matters that confuse or frustrate us. The first thing to realize is that you aren’t by yourself. You should also know that all around you are dozens of like minded people of faith who are stumbling in a similar manner. The sooner we are all honest about that and live out our faith in honest community with one another, the better marriages and more grounded spiritual lives we’ll have.

Here are some thoughts about your specific query.

First: I suspect that this really isn’t about going to church. I could be wrong, but I’m guessing there is something else going on within your marriage relationship that is just erupting at this particular point. Infection is like that. It’s contained within your body, it finds a stronghold somewhere, and then the infection grows until a boil erupts through your skin. So I’d be asking myself some honest and heartfelt questions about the state of my marriage first.

Second: You speak of struggles in your spiritual life. There’s nothing shocking or shameful about that. Let me ask: If you were having a struggle with your vision what would you do? If you were having a struggle with your plumbing at home, what would you do? In both cases you’d seek help. So have you sought help from a skilled and wise practitioner regarding the spiritual things that nag you?

I’ve learned—mostly since my own crisis going on two decades ago—that our spiritual strengths, weaknesses, and problems have much to do with our nutrition, digestion, and exercise. Are you ingesting the right things? Are you practicing the disciplines of sound-minded “Right Thinking” that produce a harvest of right behaviors, right attitudes, and right actions in your life? And finally, what are you doing to become stronger spiritually?

The first thing I recommend you do is give up! You and I both come from a religious tradition that emphasizes that salvation is Christ’s work alone, but our church tradition is full of good-sounding but guilt-inducing mechanisms which lull us onto a treadmill of praying more, reading our Bible more, volunteering more. It’s “works-based salvation” by a different name. Give it up!

I read my Bible a lot, virtually every day. I pray throughout many of my days. But I’m not reading and praying and doing because I “ought” to. Instead its like eating and exercising to me. If I don’t do it, I’ll grow weaker, less flexible, and unable to function as I was intended. If I do, do it. I grow stronger and my life works better. I engage in spiritual disciples because I need them and they work, not because I ought to.

Thirdly: People’s judgements don’t matter, unless you empower them. As you know, I’ve experienced my share of judgement. It always mattered to me A LOT because I craved approval. But when you figure out that your value was totally and solely determined by what Jesus did for you on the cross (stop and read that statement again), then what other people think about you really doesn’t matter. In fact, the older and wiser I grow the less I feel the need to judge others. I recognize their shortcomings as the product of their nature, environment, decisions, and information. So if I judge them its on whether they are seeking to learn more (starting with God), think better thoughts which produce better decisions, and submit themselves to people and an environment where they can grow. To hell with what people think about you!

Fourthly: By all means you should submit to your husband…and…he should submit to you. Husbands who employ caveman tactics of clubbing their wives over the head, and wives who kick like jackasses at their husbands merely prove they don’t get it. It’s about mutual submission. My wife will submit to me, but I won’t ask her to submit to anything that she stridently disagrees with. Similarly, if she was reluctant to do what I asked, she’d still make every effort to cooperate with me because its me and she loves me. We move toward each other. And we find happiness in the middle.

Incidentally, this moving toward each other starts in the bedroom, but that’s fodder for another day. I’ll just say this: throw yourself more enthusiastically into sex, and you’ll be surprised how he’ll come around to your way of thinking. And guys should know if they’ll spiffy up and demonstrate more gracious thoughtfulness—and listen, wow, they like to talk. You gotta listen—-she’ll be more interested in the bedroom. It’s about each giving what the other wants, instead of withholding it selfishly.

Fifthly: I think this struggle is evidence of Satan’s work to destroy you, and neutralize the positive impact of your marriage. When I mention something like this, many people bristle or wave me off as old-fashioned—like I believe in the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus. But the simple truth is evil exists. It is rooted in the person of Lucifer. You and I came of age in a time when “God is Dead” was popular. In our church tradition we never bought into the myth that God was dead, but we more or less allowed the notion of Satan to expire. As a result we weren’t taught much about how to deal with spiritual oppression despite the fact that Jesus repeatedly taught that our enemies were spiritual forces working through humans, and the Bible is full of teaching on spiritual warfare. Why would that teaching be necessary if there weren’t indeed a battle going on for the lives of men and women, boys and girls, and marriages? When my wife and I are engaged in marital warfare, I eventually always get my wits about me and realize that it’s not her, its satanic or demonic interference to destroy the fabulous thing we have.

I don’t see a boogey-man behind every bush, but as long as you and I deny, ignore, or remain oblivious to the work of the Devil, he’ll continue to successfully impede our experience of the abundant life that Jesus promised in John 10:10. Remember, Jesus himself said “The Devil seeks to kill and destroy.”

Recognizing who and what your enemy is—thinking rightly—is one of your first steps to finding healing.

Finally: You need the church. You may not need what is offered at the gathering your husband wants to participate in on Sunday that refers to itself as “church.” But you need the companionship, encouragement & accountability of the people who know Jesus’ power to change lives and who are living in pursuit of Him. Whether you get that down at First Assembly of Whatever, or in a small group that meets regularly to focus on spiritual growth, you need to be with people and share Jesus-centered community. It’s in those groups that four things happen: #1. You can know, and be known. #2. You can love, and be loved. #3. You can serve, and be served. #4. You can celebrate, and be celebrated. Worship and teaching in an environment organized around those four things creates an atmosphere where you, your mate, and your family can work out the issues of abundant daily living empowered by Jesus in you.

I’ve thought alot about the topic of Abundant Living. It has captivated me for years. Jesus said “I came that you might have life, and have it more abundantly.” I accept that. But in truth, I’ve not felt that I was living abundantly, and didn’t really know much of anyone who was—my vast regiment of Christian friends included.

A couple of years ago we adopted “Living Abundantly” as a core value within our company. We didn’t know what that meant, but somehow thought it worthy of our embrace, if not outright pursuit. Periodically I’ve taught on the topic, usually defining it by what’s its not. I’ve always known that abundance wasn’t measured in bank accounts.

Abundant Living is the ultimate byproduct of right thinking as I teach it in the Enhancing Your WORTH (Wheel Of Right THinking) seminar God gave to me and that I’ve begun teaching our team, will be rolling out to my small group this winter, and will take on my first Latin American teaching road gig in the Spring. When you think rightly about God, Self, Purpose, Future, Relationships & Behaviors you become a well-balanced person and abundant living is the natural product you experience.

Yet what is it? I think I am beginning to understand.

2010 has been a very difficult year. It started (as they all do) with robust plans for “world domination” (or maybe partial control of my life), and then began to come loose in a few areas. Confusion in the capital markets has provided for challenges in both the financial and real estate sectors—the exact intersection at which I live my economic life. An executive with our company who I trusted so much that I gave him signature authority over every aspect of our business surprised me by proving to lack character which ultimately leaked into his poor performance and the imbedding of critical problems within our company that would have sunk it if I hadn’t pulled the plug on him when I did. Months later our trust is severely damaged and we’re still cleaning up his messes. Meanwhile another big-talking, executive-level, employee similarly proved himself to be “all hat and no cattle” in execution of his responsibilities; another mess the more competent and under-rewarded few had to resolve. Amidst it all: my wife’s father continued his slow descent and died just last month.

2010 has been a hard year. It seems like we’ve been “inside of the ten yard line” for months, but can’t manage to put the ball across the goal line; lots of activity on the drawing board but very little production actually being “shipped” by the factory. Argh! That gets old.

That said, it has also been a great year. In many ways I have never felt better. I told my business partner last week that “I’ve never felt stronger.” My health is good. I haven’t lost all the weight I wanted to by this point, but my level of fitness has increased tremendously. I can kick butt. This morning I spent two hours working out HARD including running significantly UPHILL between the front gate and my house (about 1/3 of a mile down and back) six times. That’s nothing by Chris Ballard standards, but two miles with half uphill is big for a fat guy staring down the barrel of 50. Sitting here in my sweat as I write this, I smell bad, but I feel good.

In the midst of everything I’ve found myself marveling at how good I am doing. I’m kind of amazed really. I’m well. In some ways a lot of Hell has broken loose around me, and I smell a bit like smoke and my hair is singed, but I am well.

As I sat on the porch this morning drinking my coffee, petting my attention starved Border Collie (who thinks I am God) and praying, I told God how thankful I was for how He had helped me and stood with me during difficulty. It occurred to me that this contentment, peace, confidence—call it what you will—in the midst of the storm is living abundantly! Life happens. People get sick and die. People let you down. People hurt you. Economies change. People wrongly accuse and attack you. Sciatica sets in. Business models shift. And in the midst of the chaos, there is peace. It passes all understanding.

I still don’t know much about Abundant Living. But I’ve had a glimpse of it. And I like it.

May you have some, too!

Just heard on the news that researchers in England have finally answered the age-old conundrum: It was the chicken. It turns out that chicken egg shells contain a protein that can only be produced inside the body of a chicken. Therefore, the chicken came first.

I’m glad somebody got a Ph.D and figured this out. But didn’t we already know this? If my memory serves me correctly, on the fifth day God created the birds.