While visiting with my attorney recently I mentioned testifying in a trial in which the attorney had been very nervous; inappropriately so, it seemed to me. He said “Yes, but you are more confident than most people.”

He’s right. I am.

In reflecting on that conversation, I’ve been wandering around in my brain asking myself questions like: from where does confidence come? Why are some people more confident than others? What is confidence? Does confidence matter? How can you develop more confidence?

Are you a confident person? Why or why not? How do you feel around people who are strongly confident?

What is Confidence?

I think it is simply believing. Believing in yourself. Believing in others. Believing in God.

Confidence is assurance. Assurance is being certain. So perhaps confidence is being certain.

Core Value #3 in our company is Confidence in your Competence. That’s simply being certain that you have the ability to execute your responsibilities effectively. It’s the shooter stepping up to the free throw line with no time on the clock certain that he can make the basket. It’s the surgeon boldly cutting into the body because she is certain of where to cut. It’s the athlete who when his team is behind and it is late in the game says “Give me the ball. I’ll carry it over the goal line.” It’s the soprano who in the climax of the piece, right after that pregnant pause, has the courage to nail the high note at full volume, certain that she could.

Confidence is knowing that you know; knowing that you can. It is the ability to trust yourself to deliver the result for you. It is the inner assurance of a favorable outcome.

Does Confidence Matter?

Confidence is the key ingredient to success. A technically precise pianist who never misses a note can melt down in a performance failure if lacking confidence. A salesman who doesn’t believe will never bring his solution to bear with a prospect if he is lacking in certainty that his solution is the absolute best one for the prospect.

I want my surgeon to be confident in his knowledge of anatomy, and my lawyer to be confident not just in their knowledge of the law, but in their instinctive ability to successfully present my case before the court with bold assertion. I want my preacher to be confident in the message he brings, the authority it rests on, the power of God to do the impossible and the fondness of God for a guy like me who doesn’t deserve it.

So yes, I’d say confidence matters. It matters a lot! You cannot be successful if you are not confident.

Sources of Confidence

So where do you get confidence? Your parents? Your education? Can you buy it through an online store?

I know one lady whose confidence comes from her genes. She was heard to recently say “My parents ran this town when they were alive, and now I’m going to.” Oh, she’s got confidence, but as you might guess it’s misplaced. She’s not getting traction with genetic confidence.

Back in the dark ages—when I went to college—it was true that if you got a medical or law degree that you had the ticket to financial success; you could be confident that your future was economically and socially secure. However, I’ve had enough brainless doctors as clients and seen enough hungry lawyers to know that entrusting your confidence to those professional degrees would definitely be misplacing your certainty.

Some people get their confidence from a bottle. We call that “liquid courage.” But sources indicate that wears off quickly and definitely leaves you worse for the wear. In fact, many people have done stupid things fortified with this kind of confidence. I’ve got a 45 year old buddy who is practically crippled from that kind of confidence. It seems in college he got his confidence up and decided to tackle on of those snorkle-type, street corner mailboxes.

Ouch!

Starting in junior high and extending throughout life, many people get their confidence from what other people think of them. They dress, talk, and conduct themselves in ways that they believe will cause others to think or speak highly of them. The join clubs, seek out “friends” (in quotes because they aren’t really), and drive certain vehicles because they believe being part of that group, accepted by that person, or looking successful behind the wheel of a particular sports car will give them status. In my experience those folks sometimes look good, and usually have cool stuff, but they are often shallow, hollow, empty people starved for relationships and hungry for authenticity.

Don’t get me wrong. Dressing well, educating yourself, and putting your best foot forward can certainly contribute to success. But ultimately confidence is internal. It doesn’t come from any of the external sources pursued by the vast majority of people.
he Ultimate Source of Confidence

Easter Sunday seems like the right time to share with you what I believe is the ultimate source of confidence.

The Bible teaches that Jesus died for man’s sin and that if I were the only man who ever lived, or the only man who ever sinned, Jesus would have died in my place; for me alone. In so doing, God “priced” me. He said I was worth the life of His most precious son. He put a value on me and it is a high one.

Enormous, really.

So, in light of the value that God has placed on me, suddenly, what you think of me doesn’t matter so much. Whether I pass all the “cool” tests and “awesome” factors doesn’t really matter too much. Driving an old beater, a Ford F150, or a (OK, I’m not a car guy, so insert the hottest, coolest car of your choice here) suddenly becomes irrelevant.

You see my friend, I am confident because God loves me. He doesn’t love me because I am good. He doesn’t love me because I write big checks to charity. He doesn’t love me because I DO anything. No, He loves me because His nature is to love.

No longer feeling the need to search for or prove my worth, I am confident because my worth was established on the cross. In dying for me Jesus not only paid for my sins, but He established my value. I am worth the life of the greatest man who ever lived. He gave me dignity. He gave me a sense of assurance that I can face any challenge knowing He’ll be right there with me. He promised me Heaven when I die, His closest companionship while I walk the earth, and His power to do everything He asks of me.

I can boldly go where others fear. I can boldly say what others won’t (you know…..wouldn’t want them to think badly of me). I can speak truth. I can take risks. I can cry in public without fearing that I’ll appear weak. I can put my arms around my buddies and hug them tight and kiss their cheeks without risking my manhood.

I AM confident. I can do ALL THINGS. I can do all things THROUGH CHRIST who strengthens me.

And you can, too. The power is available to everyone. Maybe you ought to check and see if your cord is plugged into the outlet.

When Jesus died on the cross He put a price on you as well. In fact, you and I are both valued exactly the same. We’re worth the price of God’s most precious and only Son.

How’s your confidence?

Put your hope and faith in the right place. The only right measure of your value is the cross.

The world needs confident men and women to make a difference. Be one!

(March 8, 2009 in the air somewhere over Oklahoma) The 9:00 a.m. news today bore the story of a man I knew. Pastor Fred Winters was shot to death this morning in the pulpit of the church he pastored in Maryville, IL.

Fred and I weren’t friends. I hadn’t seen him in over 20 years; since we used to sit in the same small classes in seminary. But I knew him. These tragedies always seem to happen elsewhere to someone you don’t know. But this time……I knew him.

The Apostle Peter said in chapter 5 of his first epistle that the devil is our opponent, and that he is roaming about like a roaring lion seeking people to devour. This time it was Fred. In devouring Fred he certainly scarred the Winters family, the Maryville church, the citizens of that area, and to a much lesser degree all of us.

It has become popular these days to pooh-pooh talk of evil verses good, or to mislabel the imperfect actions of well-intentioned men (GWB) as evil. Those of us who know the difference between good and evil must speak into the wisdom-vacuum on this topic and call it what it is: the work of our enemy.

I’m not the kind of Christian who sees a Boogie-man behind ever bush, or evil in every person who simply disagrees with me. But I do know the enemy has waited in hiding for me and struck my life in various ways and times, and that I was ill equipped to respond or even to recognize his threats.

I don’t recall in 46 years of church-going, Bible study, or seminary ever being taught how to engage the devil, or protect against him, let alone attack turf that he controls. Yet the Bible clearly states that the defensive gates of hell shall not prevail against those of us who are the Church.

When locked in battle, like the one Fred Winters lost today, or the micro battles we fight daily even with the ones that we love, we must remember the Apostle Paul’s wisdom to us Ephesians 6, that we battle not against flesh and blood, but against world forces of darkness, against spiritual forces in heavenly places. In Maryville, IL a gunman held the weapon, but Satan pulled the trigger.

The weapons of our warfare are not carnal (of the weak flesh) but mighty, for the destruction of strongholds the enemy has in the lives of people (II Cor 10:2). We have the power, but we don’t use it well, and often not at all.

Wise up! Don’t be afraid, but also don’t remain unaware. The Kingdom of Darkness is always trying to steal from the Kingdom of Light.

Speak up! Call evil what it is.

Man up! Speak clearly. Address Satan verbally (aloud), forcefully, and clearly. Leave no mistake about what’s God’s and command him to keep his hands off. The Bible promises in James 4 that if we resist (that’s being active, not passive) the Devil he will flee, and that if we draw near to God (again, action on our part) that God will draw near to us.

To Hell with the devil. And God bless the family of Fred Winters and the First Baptist Church of Maryville, IL.

OK, my friends who are reading this are belly laughing now that Barry Watts would dare write anything about humility. But, let’s think about this together.

Humility isn’t weakness. Power can be humbly expressed, and is when you recognize that you aren’t strong, mighty, or powerful in and of yourself. The power comes through you, not from you. On the other hand, false humility often projects itself when appropriate praise and honor is deflected, when soft weakness is offered where strength is needed, when you hold back when your world (or company, or family, or church) need you to step-up, speak-up, and stand firm.

A pastor friend and I were visiting recently about a professional we both knew who’d come upon some hard times, gotten into some trouble, lost licensure and certification, and ultimately all the family’s substantial income. The pastor said “I don’t sense that (anonymous) has really taken responsibility and repented. I think (anonymous) continues to place blame on others.”

In my own life, I’ve discovered that you can’t ever become something greater than you are, until you are empty of yourself. Until you can stand before God and say with the Old Testament Prophet Isaiah “Woe is me. I am a sinner.” and sing with the saints “Nothing in my hand I bring, only to Thy cross I cling” then you are still full of yourself, and there’s no room for God to work in your life.

Many of us will eventually get empty; either voluntarily, or by violent force. We’ll come to the end of our rope and when we do, then, our usefulness to God begins to bloom. That’s the way it happened with me. My usefulness to God was limited when I was a clergyman because I was terribly insecure and felt that I needed to protect myself. I wasn’t honest and real, because I feared what people would think of me. When I reached the end of my own rope and embraced emotionally what I knew intellectually—that God loved me because He was good, not because I was impressive—then I grew very comfortably in my own skin, no longer needed to impress, and found myself in an open and teachable frame of mind. That’s when God opened His rich truths to me and I began to grow and become what God wanted me to be all along: a tool in His hand (remember, the tool doesn’t get credit for the masterpiece, the craftsman does).

Humility is required for learning. I’ve discovered that people who need to speak can’t listen and who need to teach can’t learn. It takes humility to be quiet, to learn, to consider ideas to which you may at first want to react negatively. It is humility to stand before someone and say “please teach me what you know.”

Ultimately, you and I can either be full of ourselves, and there’ll never be room for the greater things in our life. Or we can quiet ourselves, open our heart and mind, learn, stretch, grow, develop, and become effective in our living—a person truly worth knowing.

Don’t let your ego get in the way of your progress.

Today I had the privilege of helping a friend shake hands with Jesus. Shaking hands is what you do when you meet someone for the first time. This 30 something friend of mine works for our company and has for several months. We’ve recently been talking about who he is and where he’s headed. Ultimately he shared with me that he knew about God, but that God wasn’t necessarily relevant in his daily life, and that his knowledge of God wasn’t personal—there was no relationship. You can’t have a relationship with someone you’ve never met, and you can’t have a relationship with God unless someone helps you understand how to do that. So, he and I are working on that together. But the first meeting has taken place. It did so this morning in my conference room.

This got me to thinking. What do you believe? Do you believe anything strongly enough that you think other people ought to believe it? If not, then, I’d posit that you really don’t believe.

It’s become almost a requirement in our culture that we not foist our beliefs on one another. Where’d that come from? Wasn’t America founded by people who had strong beliefs…..”We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal,” that was a foundational belief. Seems to me like the early patriots risked it all because of what they believed, and that they worked like the dickens to convince others to adopt their views.

What do you believe so strongly that you’d try to persuade someone else to adopt that belief? Surely there’s something. Politically. Philosophically. Morally. Spiritually.

If there’s nothing you believe so strongly that you’d try to persuade someone else to adopt your view, then, what does that indicate? That you are superior because you aren’t pushing your beliefs on someone else? Or, that you aren’t thoughtful enough to have sorted through things and developed a framework of belief about various things? Or, that you don’t care enough about your friends to persuade them to adopt your beliefs (they are better, aren’t they? If not, why don’t you trade them in for better beliefs?).

Quit taking up space. Make a difference. The world needs you.