We’re all going to screw up from time to time and not be able to deliver on commitments we’ve made. It’s inevitable. But our failure doesn’t have to be fatal. Here are some tips on how to screw up with integrity.

#1. Be the first to deliver the news. Don’t hide and hope that the people who are depending on you won’t notice and that you’ll slip by under the radar. Trust me, they’ll notice. So, when you’ve made a commitment on which you can’t deliver, don’t let them make a surprising discovery. You tell them first, face-to-face if possible.

#2. Own it. I received a call yesterday from a corporate executive—the leader of the largest corporation of its type in America. She had failed to deliver. She was calling ostensibly to apologize after word had gotten back to her that I was displeased with her unresponsiveness. However the “if” embodied in her “if I failed” statement coupled with the slight disowning of the problem, all after she’d told me “I will get on this” sort of bent the credibility of the apology and didn’t garner her any trust from me. When you’ve screwed up, just own it. Say “I have made a mistake. I am very sorry. And I am asking for your forgiveness as I do the best I can to make the situation right.”

#3. Overtly apologize. Say “I am genuinely sorry. This is my fault (I like to say “my bad”).” Also ask their forgiveness “Will you please forgive me?” (And wait for their response.)

#4. Do everything possible to fix the problem you have created. In some cases, late delivery accompanied by humble ownership of your tardiness is all it takes. In other cases, you’ve created a big—maybe enormous—problem for the other person. You may not even know the extent. If that’s possible you need to say “I think my failure has caused……but is there anything else that is messed up because I <insert what you didn’t do> that I need to get fixed for you?” Then proceed to resolve every matter that they were depending on you to resolve and the new issue that have cropped up because you failed to deliver.

#5. Ask for their help. Sometimes we’ve messed something up and we can’t fix it unless someone else will help us. So, put your hat in your hand, bow your head, humbly confess your problem, and ask them to help you fix it. You’ll be amazed at how generous and charitable people can be. They’ll usually run to your aid.

#6. Ask if you can move forward together, AFTER you’ve done the above steps. Once everything is fixed, I’d offer a final “apologize again” and say something like “I want to assure you I’m going to do my dead level best to never let you down again. Can we move forward and let me prove to you that I’ll deliver next time?”

#7. Deliver. Many people blubber and jabber and shuck and jive about what they are gonna do. Just shut up and do it. Less talk. More action. Deliver.

It’s part of being human, or Christian, at least American. When our neighbor has a fire we run to help.

Fires happen all the time. Sometimes there are smoke and flames. Heart attacks and sickness, death, storms, job loss, wayward kids (or spouses), marital pain, financial reversal; those are just some of the fires happening in the lives of people around us.

We had two fires in our company this week. The first was a formal-eviction-set-your-stuff-out-on-the-curb-while-the-sheriff-stands-by kind of fire where a lady refused to pay her rent and refused to move out. Glyn, who runs our property management division, told me of how he called Phil and Justin from our construction team, and they brought some of their subcontractors (who didn’t get paid to come do this), and then Goeff and Elijah from our office stepped in, and Joe, and Mark from the field, and in less than 30 minutes they had an entire house totally emptied out and set on the street corner. 30 minutes! Our guys ran toward the fire, not away from it.

The second fire came when our #1 key, professional, credentialed, outside team member  (and a person for whom we’d had the utmost and deepest respect  and who we trusted so much that we’d given him control of our bank accounts) quit via email at 3:30 p.m. on April 15 and left us with no tax returns, about $200,000 of written checks unfunded, a payroll check and distribution checks missing, but kept our files, computer, coupon books, etc. How internal people from our team and external people rushed to the fire was inspiring. Jane Knudson—whom I’ve never met but who operates www.CFOJANE.com from her DesMoines base where she does work for a friend of mine—immediately contacted us, said she’d already talked with her partner’s husband (a tax attorney) who’d said he could help us file extensions that afternoon, and said “Keep me posted. We’re here for you.” And………I’ve never met her before. THAT’S RUNNING TO THE FIRE!

We didn’t need Jane’s help at that moment, the internal team already had the fire under control. But it gave great confidence to know there was someone we could call if we needed to.

That’s the best of our American / human / Christian / whatever-it-is tradition: the way we help each other during crisis. When two of the guys in our small group were threatened with losing their jobs in the recent Sisters of Mercy / St. John’s layoff, other people in the group had already talked about what we would do to spring into action to help them. That’s running to the fire!

Many years ago, as a pastor with great responsibility, I fell into a pit of great emotional / personal trouble. The majority of the leaders in my church and virtually every pastor I knew looked the other way. But there was one guy, Pastor Gary Denbow of Christian Chapel in Columbia, Missouri who reached out to me. Gary is now the president of Central Bible College here in Springfield, Missouri. I’ve always remembered his doing that and greatly appreciated him for it. He ran toward the fire.

Fires happen. If you haven’t had one yet, you will. It’s just a matter of time.

The question for all of us to consider is: are you the kind of person who runs to the fire?

I want to be. I’m grateful to be surrounded by people who are.

When a person knows he won’t be able to keep his word, he honors his word by making that situation known to all the people who will be affected. He deals with the consequences of not keeping his word, cleans up whatever messes have been created, and makes new promises that RESTORE WORKABILITY to the situation at hand. —From The Three Laws of Performance