We’re all going to screw up from time to time and not be able to deliver on commitments we’ve made. It’s inevitable. But our failure doesn’t have to be fatal. Here are some tips on how to screw up with integrity.

#1. Be the first to deliver the news. Don’t hide and hope that the people who are depending on you won’t notice and that you’ll slip by under the radar. Trust me, they’ll notice. So, when you’ve made a commitment on which you can’t deliver, don’t let them make a surprising discovery. You tell them first, face-to-face if possible.

#2. Own it. I received a call yesterday from a corporate executive—the leader of the largest corporation of its type in America. She had failed to deliver. She was calling ostensibly to apologize after word had gotten back to her that I was displeased with her unresponsiveness. However the “if” embodied in her “if I failed” statement coupled with the slight disowning of the problem, all after she’d told me “I will get on this” sort of bent the credibility of the apology and didn’t garner her any trust from me. When you’ve screwed up, just own it. Say “I have made a mistake. I am very sorry. And I am asking for your forgiveness as I do the best I can to make the situation right.”

#3. Overtly apologize. Say “I am genuinely sorry. This is my fault (I like to say “my bad”).” Also ask their forgiveness “Will you please forgive me?” (And wait for their response.)

#4. Do everything possible to fix the problem you have created. In some cases, late delivery accompanied by humble ownership of your tardiness is all it takes. In other cases, you’ve created a big—maybe enormous—problem for the other person. You may not even know the extent. If that’s possible you need to say “I think my failure has caused……but is there anything else that is messed up because I <insert what you didn’t do> that I need to get fixed for you?” Then proceed to resolve every matter that they were depending on you to resolve and the new issue that have cropped up because you failed to deliver.

#5. Ask for their help. Sometimes we’ve messed something up and we can’t fix it unless someone else will help us. So, put your hat in your hand, bow your head, humbly confess your problem, and ask them to help you fix it. You’ll be amazed at how generous and charitable people can be. They’ll usually run to your aid.

#6. Ask if you can move forward together, AFTER you’ve done the above steps. Once everything is fixed, I’d offer a final “apologize again” and say something like “I want to assure you I’m going to do my dead level best to never let you down again. Can we move forward and let me prove to you that I’ll deliver next time?”

#7. Deliver. Many people blubber and jabber and shuck and jive about what they are gonna do. Just shut up and do it. Less talk. More action. Deliver.

I just read that the Taliban in Afghanistan executed a seven year old boy for being a spy. He may have done some that looked spy-like, but he’s no spy. At most he was the agent of an adult; or maybe just a kid looking for a bug, or trailing a kitty cat. He was seven years old—that’s a first or second grader. Bring him to my house and give him hugs, birthday cake, and a puppy dog and he’s got hope and a future.

There is a philosophy in our culture today that says the way you deal with religious thugs–animals really—who did this is to be kind to them. Explain to them that it was wrong. Educate them. Befriend them. Socialize them. Give them therapy. Negotiate. Ask them not to do it again.

That’s weak thinking.

We need to realize what we’ve been given—in this case—the ability to know evil when we see it. The solution to evil isn’t repression, it’s annihilation. Evil in me, or evil in you—kill it before it hurts someone. And when that evil arises to a certain level—you’ll probably know when it’s reached that point, certainly in this case it had—-you literally kill that evil in the same manner that you would a rabid dog attacking a baby—your baby—in its stroller.

The earth needs to be emptied of people who do things like this. It’s the responsibility of good men and women in civilized society to stop evil in its tracks. These people need to be annihilated; to disappear from the face of the planet. To borrow the notion of the soldier who when asked what he did in the military said “I arrange appointments between people and God”—-the date of their judgment needs to be accelerated.

The only thing more enraging than hearing about this, is when I hear weak thinkers put forth the notion of philosophical egalitarianism that says cultures, philosophies, and religions that promote such behavior should be on an equal footing with Judeo-Christian thinking. No rational, thinking person can embrace that philosophy. It’s wrong!

Of course, I am writing this from the comfort and security of a country where it it would have been perfectly OK to have killed this boy a few days before he came from his mother’s womb. So, maybe we aren’t that much different than the Taliban?

Hurts doesn’t it.

Jesus loved and defended children. In one case He said it would be better for a millstone to be hung around their neck than for someone to bring harm to a child. That’s pretty graphic language. Annihilation language.

I’m not advocating terrorizing abortion clinics or physicians in the manner of Scott Roeder who murdered a physician in a church in Kansas a few months back. I’m just expressing my outrage at the Taliban and then observing that a not totally dissimilar behavior is perfectly acceptable in our culture. That seems wrong to me.

Jesus is about life. He’s in the life giving business. Life for babies in America. Life for seven year old boys in Afghanistan. Even life for Taliban soldiers. But when you reject his life and rain death up that life He gives…….that’s where good men and women of strong mind and character must stop evil in its tracks. The law in my country stands wrongly in the way of this matter in America. We need to work to change that. And in the wild, wild, east that is Afghanistan where there’s little law and mostly tribal code, we need to wipe out people who hang little boys.

I wouldn’t presume to be able to clearly and fully articulate with exact precision what it means to “be a Christian.” But a recent event in our own community has given me pause to reflect……

The former president of the local PTA has been arrested for stealing money from the organization. About $38,000 is missing. The press reports she’s admitted her guilt.

This is a woman we know. Practically everyone does. She’s lived large in attempt to be known—as many insecure people do—attempting to find acceptance. Besides heavy involvement in school she’s also served on the local city council. She and her children have been in our home. Her oldest daughter is the same age as mine. That’s where this story is going.

Another lady who I consider a friend, and who is an overt Christian, is said to have instructed her child to have nothing to do with the children of the alleged thief because “you are known by the company you keep.” Meanwhile, a third friend of mine (who does not profess Christ) has stepped up in great concern over how this woman’s children may be ostracized because of their mother’s crime. You know, teenaged girls can be cruel.

Who is right, my friend the Christian who vows disassociation, or my friend who doesn’t believe, but is overt in being gracious to the children? No question: I’m with the pagan. My Christian sister has missed the point. If ever these children (and the alleged thief herself) needed to see the love of God in action its now. The woman deserves and will likely get whatever punishment comes from her crime, but to ostracize her children because of their mother’s crimes would unfairly and unrighteously compound the damage. If these kids are to survive the upheaval in their family life they need a vivid demonstration of acceptance and graciousness. They need a refuge from the Hell that has enveloped their lives, not an indictment from those of us with theological expertise on Hell. Which brings me to the question: what does it mean to be Christian?

I believe those of us who call ourselves Christian have gradually slid into grave error by defining “Christian” by the language a person chooses, the beverages they drink, the movies they watch, the tattoos they have, what they do or have done with their sexual organs, etc. We’ve missed the whole point. We who have received grace live and behave as if we’d never needed it in the first place. That’s a real problem. It’s living like a Pharisee, who coincidentally were the most frequent targets of Jesus’ wrath.

Language that lifts is important—even scriptural—but sometimes certain words that those who are thought to be righteous wouldn’t use are in fact quite appropriate.

A friend of mine from long ago has politically maneuvered himself into being the leader of the largest denomination in our state. In a sermon carried by press across the state he recently trotted out the archaic Baptist sugar-stick about avoiding alcohol. In his sermon he essentially said “The Bible doesn’t say it’s a sin, but you still shouldn’t drink it.” Huh? He squandered a great opportunity to speak grace into our state and chose instead to beat people up over something that Jesus himself doesn’t condemn. He chose his topic—in my opinion—to ingratiate himself with a bunch of other guys in dark suits who also have their heads up…….er, in the sand.

Parenthetically, I remember a discussion with a Sunday School friend of mine about how Jesus related to people. The question I posed had to do with whether Jesus would sit down at the South Avenue Bar in Springfield and talk with the guys while they (and he?) had a beer. My friend finally balanced the emotional shock in her brain buy saying “Jesus wouldn’t go into the bar, but he’d stand out front on the sidewalk and talk with the people before they went in.” (OK, go ahead and guffaw!!! I know. I’m embarrassed to be associated with such weak thinkers.) By contrast, I find it delightful that some Jesus’ followers are taking the risk of hosting “Theology on Tap” nights at local establishments where the claims of Christ are presented to people who—gasp—are drinking beer.

I’ve been doing a lot of studying in the Old Testament lately, particularly surrounding King David who the Bible says was a man after God’s own heart. But let me tell you, David was a horny fellow, too. The sex and innuendo gets steamy, and that is outside of the Bathsheba episode. In fact, sex in the Old Testament is far from puritanical. It’s embraced as a normal part of healthy living, and is abusable just like drink, or language, or everything else. Our challenge is to embrace all of these passions and interests in a way that honors God, rather than making fools of ourselves and a mockery of him in the process.

The point I am feebly trying to make is that you aren’t a Christian because you have a plastic fish emblem on the back of your car, or because you do or don’t drink beer, or because you always maintain your composure and never utter a word that is verboten among Christians, or don’t have a tattoo on your butt or breast or……, didn’t tongue kiss before you got married. You aren’t even a Christian because you are nice to people and act like Jesus. One can only “be a Christian” by bowing their knee before the higher throne of Jesus, accepting his death as payment for their sin, asking His forgiveness, embracing His resurrection power to live beyond sin, and pledging their lives to follow Him. And then…..we go out and love people, seek to do good, to make a difference in the world, always telling the story of the one who loved us enough to die for us when we were unlovely and unworthy, and who loves them just the same. Then we invite them to follow Him alongside us.

Jesus was a friend of sinners. Those who follow him should be, too.

Shannon, you and your kids are welcome at my house anytime. In fact, I’d like to tell you about a friend of mine……..

It’s part of being human, or Christian, at least American. When our neighbor has a fire we run to help.

Fires happen all the time. Sometimes there are smoke and flames. Heart attacks and sickness, death, storms, job loss, wayward kids (or spouses), marital pain, financial reversal; those are just some of the fires happening in the lives of people around us.

We had two fires in our company this week. The first was a formal-eviction-set-your-stuff-out-on-the-curb-while-the-sheriff-stands-by kind of fire where a lady refused to pay her rent and refused to move out. Glyn, who runs our property management division, told me of how he called Phil and Justin from our construction team, and they brought some of their subcontractors (who didn’t get paid to come do this), and then Goeff and Elijah from our office stepped in, and Joe, and Mark from the field, and in less than 30 minutes they had an entire house totally emptied out and set on the street corner. 30 minutes! Our guys ran toward the fire, not away from it.

The second fire came when our #1 key, professional, credentialed, outside team member  (and a person for whom we’d had the utmost and deepest respect  and who we trusted so much that we’d given him control of our bank accounts) quit via email at 3:30 p.m. on April 15 and left us with no tax returns, about $200,000 of written checks unfunded, a payroll check and distribution checks missing, but kept our files, computer, coupon books, etc. How internal people from our team and external people rushed to the fire was inspiring. Jane Knudson—whom I’ve never met but who operates www.CFOJANE.com from her DesMoines base where she does work for a friend of mine—immediately contacted us, said she’d already talked with her partner’s husband (a tax attorney) who’d said he could help us file extensions that afternoon, and said “Keep me posted. We’re here for you.” And………I’ve never met her before. THAT’S RUNNING TO THE FIRE!

We didn’t need Jane’s help at that moment, the internal team already had the fire under control. But it gave great confidence to know there was someone we could call if we needed to.

That’s the best of our American / human / Christian / whatever-it-is tradition: the way we help each other during crisis. When two of the guys in our small group were threatened with losing their jobs in the recent Sisters of Mercy / St. John’s layoff, other people in the group had already talked about what we would do to spring into action to help them. That’s running to the fire!

Many years ago, as a pastor with great responsibility, I fell into a pit of great emotional / personal trouble. The majority of the leaders in my church and virtually every pastor I knew looked the other way. But there was one guy, Pastor Gary Denbow of Christian Chapel in Columbia, Missouri who reached out to me. Gary is now the president of Central Bible College here in Springfield, Missouri. I’ve always remembered his doing that and greatly appreciated him for it. He ran toward the fire.

Fires happen. If you haven’t had one yet, you will. It’s just a matter of time.

The question for all of us to consider is: are you the kind of person who runs to the fire?

I want to be. I’m grateful to be surrounded by people who are.

I’ve just returned from a wonderful vacation in Mexico. The closer you get to the equator in February, the more clothing becomes optional. So, at a Mexican beach resort you see some interesting things. There are middle aged guys like me wearing trunks pulled up past our navel (except when we go out to eat at night, then we wear leather dress shoes and white socks); middle aged European guys over 30 years beyond the expiration date on their Speedo; and their European wives/girlfriends/consorts who…..well, the girls at my southern Missouri swimming pool weren’t allowed to do that when I was a kid. Oh, and then there are the thongs. You’ve gotta love butt floss.

Whatever.

The most interesting things I saw on the beach were the tattoos (and, that tattoos were the most interesting thing may actually be a bit telling about my advancing age, but I digress). Wow! People are painted up. Alot. And, it’s not pretty. Usually.

I saw one guy who had a huge tattoo across his back—-literally looked like a billboard. It said “Only God will judge me, and he doesn’t exist.”

If he’s right, then he’s right. But if I’m right, then he’s gonna have some ‘splainin’ to do.

Wouldn’t that be a cool talking piece if that guy became a follower? The amazing thing is that Jesus can forgive idiots who paint stuff like that on their body in permanent ink, and idiots like me too, of course.